A gentle rain had fallen early this morning. The grass and leaves were sparkling with fresh raindrops, when I wandered out. There was a softness in the air that definitely spoke of Spring. Then, a sudden remembering - May Day already! This year is racing along and I feel as if I have missed April completely. How did that happen?
Mind you, when I think about it, I have managed to do quite a lot over the last month. I’ve planted over 300 trees (with help), the garden is well underway, I had family home for a visit, and we managed a few days away to the mainland. It was a good month - so much achieved.
Maybe what I mean is that I haven’t been particularly present lately - always finding myself two steps ahead of where I should be. It’s a habit I’ve picked up since John died - contantly switched on - what do I need to do now and next and after that? I’ve no time to be sitting around not achieving stuff - life is too short.
But I’ve realised that I’m looking at presence in the wrong way. It’s more about meeting the day and embracing what comes from it. Some days are busier than others; some days require more focus; some days involve future planning and decision making and some days are quieter. I guess the trick is to accept the day for what it is and enter with joy and contemplation - to really be in that day instead of being in tomorrow or next weekend. I’ll try and remember these thoughts and move mindfully into May.